Go jokes

You're so bent and ugly that you'd make Elton John go straight!

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.

Why can't orphans go to the store? Because they throw everything around.

Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!

Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?

Family Dollar store.

Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.

During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.

He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.

You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.

What happens if a redneck is bisexual? Do they go for their brother or sister?

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

Your hairline and your forehead must have a lot in common because they go waaaaaaaayyy back!

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.