Go jokes

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.

I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.

Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.

Jake: Can I go outside?

Mom: Did you clean your room?

Jake: No.

Mom: Then f*ck no.

Jake: Alright, bet.

(Brother named No)

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

I was going to listen to a funny comment about abortion, but her joke was crap.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

Your forehead and your hairline must be great friends, because they go way back.

I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.

What did Rob O'Neill say before he shot Osama Bin Laden between the eyes?

"Go to HELLakbar!"

If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.

All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.

We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.

Go touch some grass, bro.

Where did George go?

Washington, D.C.

Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.

I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.

When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.

Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!