Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)
Friends Jokes
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.
To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"
I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: Impatient feminist.
Friend: Impati--
Me: Why don't we have equal pay YETTTTTTT?
"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?
My Friend: What’s that?
Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.
Hey guys, how was your day?
If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.
I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
My friend, what's up?
Me: What's up in space is planets and stars.
The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.
Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."
Kid: 😭
What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?
Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.
