Freshness Jokes

Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven... His Dad says, "WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies... You think I can have some??" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass"... Little Johnny says, "Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"...

Chris Rock: Jada I can't wait to see you in G.I Jane 2!

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:

Will: I got in one lil fight about my wife's lost hair, she said,'' Will if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'' 😂😂😂

What did trump say to Epstein, I like my tea like I like my teens warm, sweet and freshly made.

I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.

Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?

Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good so he started selling it to taco bell then ate a cow all the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then game them some toe jam they loved it so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam it was so good then one of the aliens ate there dog so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool then the geese float through the air holding the tortoise the tortoise was about to say something but fell and died

one day i walk up to a emo kid i realized he had a fresh cut so i grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him i like ya cuts g

TO GWEN AND FRESHFRY: Hi Gwen and fresh fry you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. you are the people who I look up to people r mean to us because i am adopted. thank you for all of your support!!!!!!

why did lazar beam kiss a man? cuz he couldnt kiss fresh he was already gay

Why do special ED classes have fans? To keep the vegetables nice and fresh

People say I LIKE UR CUT G. Which is when u get a fresh cut but I guess when u go bald we can say like ur forehead g

I know it’s really really really really really bad

What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming? Fresh road kill.

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel sutherlands wrist Nothing they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades

Why is there A-C on hospitals?

So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.

One day, there are Friends having fun, hours later one of the friends Alice, wanted to leave and say *cya guys am just gonna hangin in the tree and have some fresh air* and they all agree hours go by and the group of friends are ready to go home but then seen a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

An old lady walks into an ice cream store. Clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today ma'am...we have every flavor you can imagine". Old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream". The clerk says, "Sorry ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have". ""Ok" she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream". The clerk says just a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream". The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?". Finally totally exasperated the clerk says, "Wait a minute lady. Can you spell Van as in vanilla?". "Why of course young man" she says, "V-A-N". "Right" the clerk says, "Can you spell Straw as in strawberry?". "Well of course, Straw", she replied. "Ok then" he says, "Now spell Fuck as in chocolate". She says, "There's no Fuck in chocolate". He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!".

What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?

They both think "Mom's probably going to kill me"

What's a peadophiles favorite cooking Ingredient...... Fresh meat

I like my women like i like my coffee nice fresh and dead

What do will from stranger things and the fresh prince of belair have is common there both named will and there lives both got flipped turned upside down