Forbidding jokes

Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?

Answer: Insider trading.

It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.

In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.

Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?

One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.

He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.

So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"

Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."

Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."

I got banned from the library for putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.

Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.

I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.