PhysicistAnonymous8 years agoWhy are quantum physicists so poor at sex?Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
VegetableAnonymous8 years agoWhere can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
Music TeacherAnonymous8 years agoWhy did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
ManualAnonymous8 years agoI wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
DollarAnonymous8 years agoIf I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
WordAnonymous8 years agoTo whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
CondomAnonymous8 years ago"Son, I found a condom in your room.""Gee, thanks, Grandpa!""Why are you calling me Grandpa?""Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
MomAnonymous8 years agoYour mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
LunchAnonymous10 years agoWhat do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?An ingestigation.
GenieAnonymous11 years agoA guy finds a genie.He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women.""Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"