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How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.

Many years of sex in the dark.

The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"

The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"

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  • Someone asked me where to find de wae?

    I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.

    What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?

    When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.

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  • My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

    Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

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  • 20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."

    A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

    The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

    What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.

    A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.

    The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    Eventually find me attractive.

    What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.

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