Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.
Why couldnât Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
Because she was wearing mittens.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
He do American feel like Trump is the president, he is stupid like soup.
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!
Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.
"It looks like she went into Claireâs Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, âIâll take it!â" â Bianca Del Rio, RuPaulâs Drag Race
Sally fell off the swing.
Knock knock.
Whoâs there?
Not Sally.
my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos
What do you call the worst feeling ever?
Drinking Big before Mini. :)
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
