Family jokes
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
What's the best part of being an orphan?
All the chips and candy bars are family sized.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?
The motherboard was nowhere to be found.
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.
I'm gay and an orphan.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Why are orphans always at school?
'Cause they can't be homeschooled.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
Why can orphans never go on field trips?
Because they can’t get a parent signature.
Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.
Why can't orphans go to spelling bees? Because they can't spell "home."
Why do orphans hate smart kids?
Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.
I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!
I don't like Roblox Adopt Me. It reminds me of my past.
I saw my sister sucking a big toe.