Everything jokes

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.

I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.

Which makes me an eighth-theist.

I don't trust atoms.

They make up everything.

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

"Wait, I can explain everything!"