Everyday object jokes
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Smell mop.
Smell mop who?
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.