Everyday object jokes
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
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Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Smell mop.
Smell mop who?
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.
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So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
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