Education jokes

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

Why do orphans hate health ed at school?

Their parents can't opt them out of it.

Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Fat teachers be like: "I hope you're paying a ten chin."

What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.

So there was a reason why I hated math.

I suck at problem-solving.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.

I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.

I cum (Can't understand math).

What’s an orphan’s favorite school event?

Homecoming.

Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.

What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?

They crash and burn.

Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?

For fingering the minor.

I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."

I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"

Student: It's hot in here.

Teacher: That's because I'm in here.

Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?

Because he cheated on a test.