Education jokes
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.
What goes up but never goes down?
My grades.
(I wish)
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!
What is everyone’s favorite class?
None, because people don’t like school.
What's 9 + 10?
21
Is that my student?
Na! It is Jesus!
Where does the banana learn to split? At Sunday school.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”
Johnny: “A new bike!”
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”
The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."
Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"
Fortnite battle pass, I just shit out my ass. The school: You did what?
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.