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Donald

Donald jokes

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.

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    • Tell me a joke about my hairline.

    No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

    Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.

    So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

    Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

    What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?

    Poutine with Russian dressing!

    What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.

    *walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

    What do McDonald's and priests have in common?

    They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.

    Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”

    Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.