Doctors jokes
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
Memes
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?
Alps clear the mind! Haha.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:
"The doctor has now sent me the bill."
"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.