Doctors jokes
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
lol
Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?
Alps clear the mind! Haha.
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:
"The doctor has now sent me the bill."
"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"
Patient: I am sorry, it is my first surgery.
Doctor: Don't worry, mine too.🫡👍
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?
MC Healer.
The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.