Do jokes
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
What do you call a fish with no booty?
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
What do you call the sky? Up high, high! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Their dad never came with the milk.
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
Why do orphans never use other people's Wi-Fi?
So they can be connected.
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!