Do jokes
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
Memes
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
What do you get when you mix a 737 and 767?
A 797.
What do you call a stoned Mexican?
Baked bean.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground meat.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?
1. Listening to your teacher.
2. Not having your phone/game/TV.
3. Not having nicotine.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?
Their parents are extinct.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is Iām the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.