Do jokes
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
How do you make a plumber sad?
You kill his family.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
Memes
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
What do you describe Titanic as?
... Broken...