Do jokes
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t do drugs.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
Memes
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?...
'Cause they need to find someone to call DADDY.
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.