Do jokes

What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.

What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀

What do you call a singing laptop?

A Dell.

What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.

What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?

Men toes.

Person: Where do I commit suicide?

Dog: Roof.

Person: Good idea.

What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?

They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.

Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four-chin teller.

How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth

A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied:

"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

How do emos compliment each other?

They say, "I like your cuts g."

What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."

The room was full of arm amputees.

How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.