Die jokes
Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.
The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
@everyone.. what's so funny is that JIT thinks he's so "cool" and that everyone is "amazed" about him hating on people who is wayyy above him on the roster.
The pathetic part is that he hates on everyone else's family and relationships when 100% of us have a WAYY better one than he will ever deserve. He was born pathetic, and will die pathetic. So JIT, please tell me what it's like to be such a coward?
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
Me die.
What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.
People love you.
Don't die.
What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!