Dictionary jokes

What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

High definition or addictionary.

What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.

One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.