Delusional jokes

What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.

Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.

I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

Remember, if you are suffering from paranoia...

You are not alone.

Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....

I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.

When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."