Delusional jokes

What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.

When will delusional Christians grow up and realize their fairy tales aren't based in reality?

Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.

I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

Remember, if you are suffering from paranoia...

You are not alone.

I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.

Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....

You got a dig bick.

You read that wrong.

You read that wrong too.

Maybe you read that wrong as well.

You just went and back-checked.

You reread all of that.

You have a pet wussy.

You read that wrong...

You need mental help.