Deez jokes

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Deez nuts!

Joe Biden deez nuts.

Me: Do you like cobble?

My friend: No.

Me: Gobble deez nuts!

Me: Do you like smash?

Friend: Smash Rolls?

Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!

Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

What did one nut say to the other nut?

A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"

Knock knock.

Me, a person: Who's there?

A: Deez nuts!

Friend: You are joking.

Me: Joking on deez nuts.

Deez nutz!

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Dragon.

Dragon deez nuts.

Dragon deez nuts who?

DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!

Reese's.

Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Suck on deez balls!

How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?

– Sí...

See deez nuts!

Have you seen the Justin meme?

Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?

Just-in time for deez nuts.

Bruh.

But actually, it's a parody.

Wait, actually?

Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).

Have you met Bofa?

Bofa deez blind kids!

How have you been recently?

Oh, just playing some Rhydon.

What’s Rhydon?

Rhydon deez nutz!