Declaration jokes

How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?

By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!

9/10/01

Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”

What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).

I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].

Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:

TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."

Smart kid!

Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.

I declare war on Gwen!

Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.

"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂

What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.

What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.

When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.