Cruelty jokes
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
How do you make a cat go "woof"?
... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"