Don’t be racist racism is a crime and crime is for black people
only thing shittier than rapeboats rhymes r his jokes
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, Put on your helmet cause you're about to miss the short bus.
if being sexy were a crime you better lock me up. not because I'm sexy but because I have 5 dead children in my basement
Did you know that a majority of the U.S is afraid of the dark Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal. Doctors hope you get sick. Mechanics hope you get car troubles. But only thieves wish you prosperity. Weird?
![1) buy a lobster
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My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
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14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident](/2/65cf7ea8a37d5421dd92e8dc.jpg)
a little boy decided to burn a house down. the father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "thats arson"
You do 1 line, you're not a crack head You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic But I murder 1 person...
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people? A mass murderer.
Two priests walk into a store and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester and the priests both say I’ll do it
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?” Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?" "No." "Have you always been honest?" "No, never been caught!"
