Counting down jokes

What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?

The final countdown.

A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.

I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.

Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."

The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"

The doctor calmly replies "Nine".

"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.

what is less than 0?

my will to live.