Continuity Jokes

Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "hey what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "oh that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.

Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "hey what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "oh that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage."

The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "what's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "well Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit so we cut them off."

stop telling orphan jokes before they tell there parents o wait they dont have any please continue

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): How are you doing? Me, an autist: Pretty bad honestly. Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

A orphan came out the closet to there parents as gay. Oh wait. Continue.

School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any! Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage

(found on web) There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.

News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.

John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip”

The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip”.

Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”

With heavy breath, John told him “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”

“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified”

“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls”

Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind please continue

jack and jill went up the hill jack fell down his *ss was bound, and jill continued up the hill jack came back and beat jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.

A little boy got the homework that he had to learn the four first letters of the alphabet. He went to his mother, who was knitting and had hurt herself. He asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she said a swear word. He wen't to his brother, who was playing with a superman, and asked what the second letter of the alphabet was, and he answered 'SUPERMAN!!!'. Then he went to his little sister, and asked what the third letter of the alphabet was, and given the fact that she was playing with Barbies, she said 'in the barbie dream house! Then he went to his father who was watching a soccer game, and his team just scored, so when he asked what the fourth letter of the alphabet was, he said 'Olé Olé Olé!!!'. The next day at school, the teacher asked the little boy what the first four letters of the alphabet were. He said the swear word. 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOUNG MAN!!!', the teacher boomed. 'Superman', the boy replied. 'WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!', the teacher continued. 'In the Barbie Dream House' 'GO TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE!!!' 'OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ!', the boy chanted on his was down the hall.

Guys we gotta stop telling these jokes they are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue

Yo daddy so stupid he threw a father’s day party at the orphanage

What did the catholic priest say to the other catholic priest as they entered the orphanage?  Let’s us prey.

There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed and they all went to heaven. God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said,"I want to be handsome. " God granted his wish. The second guy said,"I want to be more handsome than the first guy.", God granted his wish. "The third guy said " I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish and this continued on and on until the 15 ugly guy.The ugly guy was laughing. Really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish

A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit, he slams on his brakes, gets out and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired. A passing car slams on it’s brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny pulls out an aerosol can and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The Bunny jumps up runs a few feet, then stops, turns around and waves it’s paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight. The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says “Wow that is amazing, what is in that can” the man looks at the can and reads the label “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave”.

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted Roblox. One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury. One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignore it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened. The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!" Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too.

She got on the scale said to be continued

I saw my midget neighbour at a bus stop

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home" I said.

"Bugger off" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man" I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

who thinks that prince should just avoid qwen are just continue the relationship

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills so he asks the bartender if its a jar of tips. The bartender says no, its for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, well if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month. So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog, when all is silent the man walks in and asks, so where is the fat lady with the tooth?

Your mama so fat it said to be continued then it loaded at said one person at a time

The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.

“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”