Complication

Complication jokes

Car Accident

A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:

"I have good news and bad news."

The wife said: "What's the good news?"

"We managed to save his arm."

"What's the bad news?"

"We couldn't save the rest of him."

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  • News

    A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.

    On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.

    The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."

    The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."

    Incest

    Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.

    I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.

    Abortion

    A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

    Fart

    Me: "I came home laughing."

    Parents: "What's wrong?"

    Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."

    Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"

    Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."

    Parents: "What is it?"

    Me: "Who farted?"

    Community

    Suggestion for Matt: Add a feature where typing in a certain word/phrase in the search bar will show all the COMMENTS where it has been used.

    That might get complicated due to the high volume of comments on the site, but even just having the search bring up posts with comments containing the word/phrase could be pretty useful.

    Scripts.com Bee Movie By Jerry Seinfeld

    NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yell… Read more

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