Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Once there was a boat. Its friends said,
"It's time to come back." And the boat said,
"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
Whats the difference between your dad and grocery shopping he didn't come back with the milk
I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk? Because u had no dad because ur dad never loved u
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
An orphan finds a genie.
Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."
Genie: "Of course."
Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."
Genie: "Done."
Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"
Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
