How do you kill time
Easy taking alarm clock and an assault rifle
What type of clock is both cringe and an app?
Tik Tok.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
What did the minute Hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
“These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells.”
“oh cool”
“this is mother Teresa’s clock, the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied.”
“Makes sense”
“This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice.”
“Where’s Trump’s clock”
“Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan.”
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
I would tell a clock joke, but I don’t have time
There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Why did the boy 👦 throw the clock 🕒 out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked to much
Guys to Wind The Clock up
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree? Time to get a new Christmas tree 🎄
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand. Moments after I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
At work: Hey guys I’m gonna arnold clock out now.
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
I once made a belt out of clocks. It was a waist of time.
I don’t have time to write this joke.
My friend says, “Time flies when having fun,” so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
The clock struck one! Then down did come! Hickory dickory doc What am I? Random- a mouse? Me- no dumb $hit! Random- what is it? Me- the gillotine!
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day. After about 13 tries, I realised this was very time consuming
What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!
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