After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents. " Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white." The mother rushes the boy to the hospital while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm. "How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" He exclaims. The wife looks up at him. "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection."
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father les.
Yo Father. Don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anul plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass of. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
Miss Kadie- I heard that the Westburow Baptist church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people. Pastor- welcome to the gay matters church. Miss Kadie- stop that you know that god hates gay people Me- stop that vegan teacher. Pastor- you deserve to die - I attack
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?" "This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy." Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Yes it is," the man replies. "You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks. "No thanks," the man replies. "I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues. "OK. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he was in. "Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies. "TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive", but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price. The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy. "It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off. "Yes it is," replies the man. "Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks. "OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage. "Fifty dollars," the boy replies, and the transaction is completed. The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch." "I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy. "How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy. "Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness,"the father explains as he hauls the child away. At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?" "Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
-Dark_Humor
i don't get it. orphans are very religious, well mostly. statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church i mean its the only place they can call someone "father"
I was blessed with a 9inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
What’s Christian and holey?
JFK
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence
one day a priest loses his cock (chicken) he goes to the church and says "who has seen a cock" all the woman raised their hands "no who has seen a cock that is not theirs" half the woman's hands went up "NO NO NO who has seen my cock" all the nuns hands went up
Have you heard of the new sequel to "the exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son
do you know what an reverse exorcism is? its when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails Oh wait I wasn’t even Jesus he’s not doing the T post that he invented
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common? A: They both come in a little behind
If a priest listen to sad music in his church he really enjoys to be deep in minor
