Christmas Tree jokes
Two blonde girls find a beautiful Christmas tree in the woods.
After two hours, someone said, "We found a tree without bark!"
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.