Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?
A: Just kitten!
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room So I said “I guess she wasn’t fealine it” My dad said “you’ve got to be kitten me that was purfect” I said “literally”
the cat ran across the road when the car swerved it killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut, the cat survived it all, the cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car... the cat still died why? It had a Catastrophic Catcident
I ran over neighbors cat last night and I just want to say... THAT THING WAS FAST! I had run a red light to get it!
how many cats are in the human body none unless your Asian
Sim a is proof cats don’t always land on their feet
( Guy 1: Why my cat's so angry ? ) ( Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage ) ( Guy 1: Don't you ? ) ( Guy 2: Yeah it seems delicious ) ( Guy 1: Mmm so .. w-wait what are you doing ? I didn't think you mean the one in my lunch :< where are you leaving #_# ) **Meow ...** ( Guy 1: Shut up i will never feed you this sausage it's not for you :< -_- </3 )
my name is gunter, gunter gunter is dead gunter gunter stuffed my cats head ;D
why cat blonds make ice they forgot the recipe
Not all cat puns are pur~fect some just have there claws
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats. How many are hungry?
A.10
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat? The cat is still alive. What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner? Nothing it’s all just mystery meat.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down ..."
What has to legs and is red all over
Half a cat
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was so i replied, its like a spring roll with sausage in it but not any dog or cat how you have it.
There were three cats. The first cat said meow. The second cat said meow. The third cat said meow meow. Then the first cat said don't change the subject
Does your cat scratch you?Yeah ,I need gave him payback ,but now he won't respond.
Question: How did the cat cross the river.
Answer: It didn’t, It drowned.
