Cat jokes
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
What do you call a girl furry?
A pussy cat.
What's the difference between a dog from an Asian person and a cat from an Asian person?
Only the taste.
We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
I told a Chinese man, "Which is better, cats or dogs?"
He said, "Dogs."
I said, "Why?"
He said, "Because dogs tasted better than cats."
▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Spread the cat gun.
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
Hello ppls, I'm lilkitten ig.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
I killed my cat.