Carpentry jokes
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To NAIL his performances!
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?
It only took one nail to hang the picture frame.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?
A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.