Carpentry jokes
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To NAIL his performances!
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?
It only took one nail to hang the picture frame.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?
A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.