Cant jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why can’t orphans go to college?
'Cause they have no one to talk to.
I suck at baseball. I can’t find home plate. Oh wait...
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
Why can’t orphans play poker?
Because they don’t know what a full house is! 🥵🥵👴😂🔫😈💀💀💀💀💀💀
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t hit the home button.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?
Because the home button does not work.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They do not have anyone to call "daddy."
We can't go under it...
We can't go over it...
We have to go through it!
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy, "What's she like?"
The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
A Chinese man moves to the USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.
He bought a home on a small piece of land.
The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.
He goes next door, but on his way up the driveway he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard, chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt these "Chinese customs", he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.
Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees him urinate into a glass and then drink it.
Not wanting to interrupt another "Chinese custom", he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the neighbor leading a bull down the driveway and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.
The American dude can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says, "Jeez man, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you."
The Chinese man is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I am doing, these are American Customs."
"What do you mean," says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs."
"Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me," replied the Chinese man. "He say to become true American, I must learn to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bull-shit!"