Cant jokes
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
Why can't an orphan have an iPhone?
It has a home button.
Why can’t orphans date?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can never score home.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "Daddy."
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Why can't orphans play poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is.
Why can't orphans become YouTubers?
They don't have electricity!
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.
Why can't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he has "no body" to go with!
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.