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What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?

Rolls Royce.

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.

Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).

What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.

During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."

Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"

What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?

You really thought n****r, didn't you?

What makes 9/11 an inside job?

Someone started calling it 10/7.

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

What do you call crabs that do not share their food?

They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ