Call jokes
What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
Q: What do you call a rich Asian? A: Dr.
What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.