Julius jokes

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!

What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?

Roman noodles.

What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?

“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”

You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"

Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."

"Julius Caesar" isneezer

Which Roman emperor was a mouse?

Julius Cheeser.

Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:

"The doctor has now sent me the bill."

"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"

How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..

With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌

Julius's wife always stands behind him. Therefore, whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees her (Caesar).

Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.

Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.

The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”

Why can’t he just speak plain English?

Julius Caesar (salad) made easy.

What is Hitler's least favorite month?

Jewly.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked if she wanna. Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and they had a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill, now they have a son.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack was surprised to see she had different eyes, and that’s when he realized... Jack had fucked Jill’s daughter.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.

Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.