Bump jokes
When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,
Then the speed bump starts screaming.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!
Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.
Wait, there aren't any road bumps.
O h s h i t.
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.
Yo Mama's so fat... whilst she was walking the streets of London, she accidentally bumped into someone, and that someone yelled, "Stupid American!"
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.