Bump jokes
When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,
Then the speed bump starts screaming.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
What did the Indian say when he bumped into someone else?
"Sari."
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
Q: What do you do if you bump into a koala?
A: You koalagize to it.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"