How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
HAIKU JOKE:
Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
I gave a blind man a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."
I have no idea how he knew.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
