A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
A blind man went to a restaurant.
"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.
The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!
Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?
Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?
Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Doctor: *calls 911*
911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?
Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?
911 service: *hangs up*
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."
I have no idea how he knew.
Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
Why can’t the blind man see?
He just can’t see. 🫤
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!