*God creates dog* God: "You are man's best friend"
Dog: "That's pretty sexist"
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy and his owner beats him.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
A man find out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees. Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says “I can save you $100”
What kind of man would be a lesbians best friend? A decimen.
What shoe shop would be a Lesbains best friend decimen
I was walking with my black best friend and he was meeting my parents and after I got there they said who’s this? I said well I own him
Okay what do you call that purple thing your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend so for some weird reason? Dad better look out from Bob battery operated boyfriend hahaha
your hair and your hairline must be best friends cause they go waaaaay back
