Behavior jokes
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
How do you make an ass laugh?
Crack a CHEEKY JOKE.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.
"Sigma" - By every boy in my class.
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?
Nothing, they both spout shit.
"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
Yo mama so clumsy, she gave birth to you.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they are fucking assholes.