What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
People judge me because I'm quiet.
No one plans a massacre out loud.
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
is it just me or ever body has a Darkside like a psycho side and then you act like crazy for some reason
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
why do you let your dads sleep so they dont get grumpy and eat your dinner
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Whats the difference between crazy people and regular people.
We don't live in their heads
My kids so dam bad.we took them to Disney in Florida.they paid me not to bring them back ever.
I had a dog with an eating disorder. He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
me on my way to the prinsiples office after the trans kid told me to act my age so i told him to act his gender
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer but they only had 2 dollars each. Christopher got an idea and run away to the butcher and see if he got something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys. - Are you crazy?! Said Tony to Christopher. 'We don't have any money!' - Take it easy now, said Christopher. 'I have a plan.' When they finnished drink everything up christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth. The bartender saw what they did and throw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub. After the 10th pub said Tony: I can't do this anymore. I am drunk and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk. - How do you think i feel? Said Christopher exhausted. ' I dropped the sausage in the 3th pub!'
vegetarian: I prefer plants herbivore: I just like food cannibal: I'm a people person
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes and multiples with the whole classroom.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
