Puns

Anonymous

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Wife

Anonymous

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back

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Fly

ME

What goes zzub-zzub ?

A bee flying backwards

Face

Night

Jared from Subway-Remember kids tuna sub backwards is what I’m going to do on your face

3

Paul Walker

Anonymous

racecar backwards is racecar but racecar sideways is how paul walker died

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Paul Walker

Lossinthesauce

If you turn the word racecar backwards it says racecar. But if you turn the racecar sideways you have Paul walkers blood on your hands

2

German

Gh0st

When a clock goes forward, it’s tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, its tactic!

Sadness

Kaycie

dont be sad because thats das backwards and das not good

Move

Anonymous

Chuck Norris doesn’t zoom out everything moves backwards

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Fart

Christopher Nowak BFA

What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards? DON’T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!

Heavy

Anonymous

What is heavy forward but not backward? – “ton”.

Paul Walker

Anonymous

Racecar spelled backwards is Racecar but Racecar sideways in how Paul Walker died.

Paul Walker

Keply

Race car backwards is race car. Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died

1
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Paul Walker

maturedmatt

How do you spell racecar backwards? racecar How do you spell racecar sideways? Paul Walkers death.

0

Country

Country girlfriend

Roses are red violets are blue I’d never play a country song backwards for you!

Wife

Iconic Memester

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road. He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. “Chuck, how ya doin’? The missus doin’ good?” "Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I’m done." This caught the bartender by surprise. “Chuck, come on, don’t be sayin’ that. Just look to the future and you’ll be fine.” “What future?” Chuck replied in a huff. “My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they’ll all suffer, and I don’t want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don’t know what to do.” “You know, you’ve got a good heart for a rooster your age,” Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I’m tellin’ ya, there will be more than what’s happenin’ right now, ya know, life’s got all its gears turning for ya, and there’s just a bit slow right now. The gears haven’t been oiled in a while, but who’s the only one who can fix that?" Chuck knew the answer. "Me." Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken’s Whiskey, on the house." Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either. “No thanks, Phil,” Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways." He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?" Chuck’s comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence. He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked… worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them… and all looking out of the window back at him. A single tear welled in Chuck’s eye. The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.

Girl

Anonymous

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, “Bruce! Bruce!” and he came running in. “Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor” she said. “S’truth, Sheila!” Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. “You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber.” They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. “No way, we can’t do it!” Cobber said, “So let’s try Plan B” “Plan B?” exclaimed Bruce, “What’s that?” “I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her” replied Cobber. “Spot on” Bruce said, “While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples” “Play with her nipples?” Cobber said, “Not exactly a good time for that mate” "No… " Bruce replied, “But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper”

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Puns

GlitzyGlamGirl (GGG)

WHAT DO YOU CALL A PARADE OF RABBITS HOPPING BACKWARDS?

a receding hare-line!!!

Finger

Oof

Say crack my fingers. Now say that backwards…

Roast

yes

what do you call bunny jumping backwards a receding hairline

Face

DOG GOD

what do you call dog that’s faced backwards a god

Spell

Anonymous

If you spell swim backwards you get miws, where is my dad?

Bus

Yosh

What do you call a bus going backwards. A sub.

Finger

Anonymous

Me say crack my finger My hubby crack my finger Now say it backwards

Calculator

Anonymous

59009 filp it backwards on ur calculator…it =…boobs!