Backwardness jokes
A burglar breaks into the home of a weapons engineer. He wants to steal some of his weapons from his strictly secured chamber. When he breaks in through the window to go into his weapons cellar, he realizes that the inventor is at home and heard him from upstairs.
The burglar shouts, "Hands up, there is no escape!" The engineer shouts, "What do you want from me?" The thief answers impatiently, "Well, what do you think? I know what you're hiding here. Get me entry to your armory, right away!" "Never in my life will I do that!" The burglar pulls out his pistol, "Either you let me in, or you go for it!"
"Well, I'll give up, I'll give you my guns. Please don't shoot me." The burglar grins gleefully, "Thank you." "I even have a gun here that I've been working on lately. You can have it." The burglar then thinks and grunts, "Okay, before you open up, you'll show me this first!"
The inventor says, "It's shooting plasma. You can test it on one of my practice goals that I've made while I'm unlocking," and points to a side room where various dummies with targets are set up. The burglar walks into the room with the targets, focuses on the red dot in the middle of the disc, and pushes off. But the gun does not fire plasma or at the target. Instead, the gun fires a bullet at the burglar. This causes him to bleed to the ground.
The engineer behind him began to laugh, "Hahaha! I knew you were falling for it! This is not a plasma gun at all; this is my latest invention, especially for burglars like you: the backward-shooting pistol."
If Leo were any slower, she’d be going BACKWARD.
If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
A capital E backwards is just it's mirror image.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
French jab is ban French's backwards.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Oh dear, I made a backwards ray. Let's test it. I made a backwards ray, let's test it oh.
Africa spelled backwards is Acirfa, which means absolutely nothing. But Acirfa spelled backwards is Africa, which is a word.
Denki: Did you just... fall over?
Bakugo: Tch, no, I attacked the floor.
Sero: Backwards?
Bakugo: I'm talented.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
Hey, Squidward, say "kid" backward. Also, suck my dick!
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
Kid amogus backwards.
SUGOMA DIK!
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.