If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?
Attitude Jokes
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Dad, I hate you!
Why do people always bully orphans?
'Cause what can they do? Tell their parents?
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
To anyone suffering from low self esteem:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UTymDoPOEnY
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.
Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!
You may not like me, but you still look up to me.
I'm so emo, my blood is black.
Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?
My dad hates them both!
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow