How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him tampon and ask him what period it came from
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan. The kid said, “Yeah what gave me away?” Jim said,” l don’t see any parents.”
Yo mama so fat that when god said let there be light he asked her to move out the way
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board
“No I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken”.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes. A few hours later dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said “honey can you get the mashed potatoes” dad said “why she’s right here”
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with "I think I need to break up with you"
* sans at sans favorite restaurant* Sans: hey frisk what do you eat today?
Frisk: one knife plz
sans: ok one knife plz
Waiter: you eat a knife?
Frisk: yes
* waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: here you go
Frisk: thanks you
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from ebay-? I asked for a refund.
I asked my kid to give me a hand that motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Ask someone to call you a bitch when they do tell them bitches do as they are told
Today my biology teacher asked meh what's commonly found in a cell .................. And apparently black people isn't the right answer
The cashier asked if I wanted to get my extra dollar to the poor i said sure and i got a cash app notification for 1 dollar
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying
A Boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear. So he just went back to teaching
you went to the bed store asking for a water bed they put a pillow and sheets on the ocean
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat and the priest says bad boys and then his friend says what Kibab do you want and the priest says bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
Today I asked my phone siri why am i still single?
And i activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
