I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
You got a dig bick.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.
Maybe you that read wrong as well.
You just went and back checked.
You reread of all that.
You have a pet wussy.
You that read wrong...
You need mental help.
If you're gonna razor yourself you might as well have shaving cream.
Imagine failing to commit suicide, you might as well go kill yourself
i swear in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers cant even win a war, might as well send all your school shooters over there
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
Whats the point of hiding the screaming speedbump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming B:Make it look like an actually speed bump and C:... You think its Hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between 9 year old bun
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
if someone calls you dirty minded just say
You are dirty minded as well if you understand what im saying
Do yall know the saying "Hang in there"? Well FUCK that because i might as well be hanging myself
I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly there was also two towers included in the box as well..
People ask me if my friend jumps of a bridge will I go as well. Of course not. I am a leader I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
Your forehead so big that we may as well call it a fivehead
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself....they were making sexual faces as well, oh and don't forget the moaning they do.
It’s just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, Mein Kraft.
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
My son wore his new 'Go Vegan' Hoodie for the first time today and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked & spat on!!!! And he's not even left the house yet!!!